How to make Break up perfectly

Have you ever been so completely in love with your girlfriend that you just knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her? Me neither. So I'm gonna tell you how to dump that bitch。
1.Insult her style
How do I look? 
You look like a cow. 
Well, fuck you! Asshole! 
Great! 
2.Play World of Warcraft
Let tanks get aggro before you start DPS. What? NO! Don't stand in the fire. Go! OK. Oh God damn it! I need a healer up here.
What're you doing? 
Shut the fuck up! I'm raiding. 
Wow! 
3.Cheat on her
Hi, free for dinner? 
No, sorry. I'm busy tonight. Oh, Anthony, I love you so much. I love you too, new girlfriend. Yeah, so super busy tonight. 
       Oh, come over here. Let me give you a blow torch.
       Anthony.
  Busted !
4.Do an over texted message
You wanna break cups with me?
Damn you auto-correct! 
5.Always mention your ex
You like that? 
Brandy did it better, but whatever. Brandy
You know I never leaned how to tie a double knot. 
Shoe noob.
6.Act like a five-year-old
Alright, I get the jokes. Stop it. 
Alright, I get the jokes. Stop it. 
I mean it! 
I mean it! 
My name is Anthony. I'm a douche. 
My name is Anthony. I'm a douche. 
Oh my God! I can't take this anymore! 
Copy this, you son of bitch! 
Suicide bonus.
7.Fake a pregnancy scare
The condom broke. 
Wait. We've never had sex. 
Then explain why I'm pregnant.
Congratulations.
8.Never talk to her again。
Anthony, hi. Anthony，
Oh, hey. This is my wife Maggie. 
Wait. What do you mean wife?I'm still your girlfriend
I thought completely ignoring you made it pretty obvious. 
I've been waiting for ten years! Dick! 
Ruined a life. 
9.Fake your own death
Why?
Because you are a bitch.
Wait. What?
Sometimes the dead can send a message from beyond. You have beautiful eyes.
What the hell!
Sloppy seconds. 
10.If all those fails, be honest with her。
I just don't think things are working out. I just think we should break up
Yeah. I don't think that's a good idea. 
Why? 
My daddy is a cop.
Stop right there. You are a great guy and have a stable job. Don't break up with her!
I'm sorry. I just don't love her anymore.
Finger bangs.