Each week, Tax Talk, take our tax experts and tax Council intelligent questions, give advice and share solutions. So grab a cup of coffee and settle in when we start a conversation today with this question:
Mom was once the best, what happened?
It seems like yesterday that my son almost 16 years, was four years old and wore a Batman costume, the kind of false integrated flex muscles and pride for me, wanting to impress. Or before school age, would still be writing a "love letter", so it may have on hand during the day, in case you forgot how much I loved him.
I was at the center of his world for years and it's hard to let go, even a long, slow and painful. And a necessary condition.
I was ready, but sometimes it hits me hard like I'm the last person in life, wants to impress at this age. I used the test of burning up, wills, hormones and melodrama in general to be about sixteen years. These are in your face, there is nothing wrong feelings that let you know where you are at that time. It is more subtle changes that I will have more difficulty with, even though theoretically I know it's normal and unavoidable. I am not the center of your world ... most of the time.
Several times during the past weekend, my adolescence behaved strangely when we were out shopping, dining and shopping. At first I did not take it personally. Walk a restaurant last weekend, his voice was really low, mumbling for me to go faster, says something about not wanting to watch a guy who goes to school with him standing nearby.
Then later in the day Sunday, which led him to join his friends to the movies. We were chatting, relaxing and enjoying the weather during the trip. I was remembering the years just before starting school and told anyone how old you are, some things never change: like being nervous and excited the night before the first Monday. I went with him long enough to ensure that they met some friends were there and give your return trip.
Across the entrance to the cinema, looking for his friends, suddenly stood up, taller, walked a little faster than me, almost as if he did not know me, turned abruptly and said, "Mom I'm okay. . 'As in "Go! Go! Faster! before someone sees you!"
He turned away, as if we were not even together, and I quickly left. I understood his actions, that it is normal for his age and also knowing I was probably worse at his age, but somehow it stuck.
As a baby boomer, I'm used to being in the majority of an age group on this earth to be "cool" is a fact. I never realized that anyone who participated in the cold or any other age group can be colder. I'm not naive. All children 15 years (and about to turn 16) are in serious competition for the coolest. Mothers are not competing at all.
The competition to be cool, is not recognized the high level of our teenagers, but some of his friends and they do not choose the clothes they choose and the activities they choose. And I think we the VAT is a little smarter than the average of 15 years, we can guide our children in the right direction and get them to feel as if it is "cool." But alas, a mother is just not cool for her child at this age.
Overnight I went from being cool to be someone who could not understand what your group of friends who think and feel. Worse, I am the mother who knows his childish ways and history, someone to go far, far away up to several years from now, when it is "cool" again. My sister told me she took her son to 21 to realize that it was "cool" again. It is long, but I know it's worth the wait. I hope he will.
Jan Katz, Kellogg
I remember fondly the day I was the coolest. Those days are far behind, and my cool factor has cooled. I write with great sadness and grief. The glory days are gone.
Many moons ago, I had a baby at home, not just any child, but the most beautiful baby and mother and love interest, at least in my mind. That baby has grown quite a man-child who looks a little 'is the father and me, and seems to work, bless his heart.
I have presented to the public library at an early age. I would shoot him in the car before he could walk. Look at the adorable cheeks vibrate and jump behind me as I shot. I was so full of love and pride for their happiness.
We passed by the local fire station on our trips. Firefighters have always loved him and our dog Benji look fluffy, Bocephus.
I trained and played football for many years. The day came when I asked my old nearly four years if he was ready to play, and he replied: ". I want to play baseball, "Cool Mom signed him for tee-ball. I bravely down to the fence and throw balls in the air for the small young men to slam into the bat, with their skills of the least developed. I was cool like that.
Dirt bikes and four-wheelers have invaded our lives. I had my car sticker, which read, "Turn All golf courses in the Motocross track," because I was fresh.
Countless days in the sun after the start of swimming lessons for three months of age, I was not only cool, but it gave me hope that he would not drown in the pool grandparents'. I became a parent, who had enough patience not only to teach their children, but many of the dozens of other children to swim. My car was always full of children, towels, floats, and healthy snacks.
I did not know then that I was a glorified babysitter.